Mom, When Can I be Ba-baptized? Part 2

Written by Brent Taylor, Senior Pastor
May 29, 2008

In my last article, I discussed the daunting experience of talking to your child about salvation. I talked about listening to what your child says to help determine when they are ready and underscored the fact that there is no set age by which every child is ready.

The main point I tried to emphasize was that as a parent, God has gifted you better than anyone (better than the Pastor, Bible Fellowship teacher, school teacher, or relative) to understand your child and be ready to respond to their steps toward God. You are the God-designed person for that child’s life and spiritual journey. Don’t forget that you are not out there alone, but God’s Holy Spirit is guiding your every conversation.

Now I want to share with you some things to say when you talk to children about salvation. Remember, God will guide your words and the heart of your child. However, parents are often looking for a guide as to the best way to communicate the Good News of Jesus Christ. Here are some pointers:

• I always use a modified version of the Socratic Method. In other words, I play 20 Questions with the child. I ask as many questions as I can and listen closely to their response. I ask questions like:
  • Why do you want to ask Jesus in your heart?
  • Why do we need to ask Jesus in our heart?
  • What is sin?
  • Have you ever sinned?
  • Who is Jesus?
  • Why did Jesus come to earth?
  • Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?
  • What does it mean to ask Jesus in our heart? (Most children are familiar with the phrase “ask Jesus in your heart.” However, children must be trained from the start that He doesn’t live inside the organ we call our heart but it means that He becomes Lord of our life…our boss…our master. We are declaring that He is in control of our life.)
  As you ask these questions, listen with your heart as well as your ears. Don’t answer the questions for them, but you may have to explain what you mean in a way they can comprehend. They may understand the concept…just not the way you phrased the question.
  
  Listen for what they are saying, not just for right answers. You will be able to get a good feel for their level of understanding from the answers they provide. That being said, don’t expect long theological diatribes about salvation, ecclesiology, and a breakdown of the four main eschatological views of Revelation. These are children and we are helping them discover their childlike faith.

• After the child has answered several questions and I think they have a basic understanding, I will walk them through Scripture and share with them God’s plan of salvation. I typically use what is known as The Roman Road. Below are the verses I use and a little of the explanation I give.
  • Romans 3:23 I use this verse to point out that all of us are sinners. No one meets God’s standard.
  • Romans 6:23 In this verse I explain what a wage is and how our payment for sin is spiritual death (separation from God). I go on to explain that God has given us a free gift! That gift is eternal life through Jesus. He took the punishment for our sin and in exchange we have a relationship with God here on earth and a promise that we will be in Heaven one day.
  • Romans 10:9 In this verse, I explain what it means to make Jesus Lord of our life. We not only say it, but it is something we believe deeply. We have the promise from God that we will be saved.
  • Romans 10:13 This verse assures us that when we make Jesus Lord of our life, we will never be separated from God but will be with Him forever.
  All through these verses I continue to ask questions with the main one being, “Do you understand what I have just said?” “Can you tell me what I just talked about?”
  
  Again, God will confirm in your heart the level of understanding your child has. If you think your child is ready to make this commitment, then lead them in a prayer of salvation. Have the child repeat the prayer out loud after you. There is no formula for the prayer but these are the kinds of things I say:
  
  Dear God, I know that I am a sinner. I know I have gone my own way. Please forgive me for my sins. Thank You for sending Jesus to die on the cross for me. Jesus, I ask you to come into my life and be my Lord. Help me to live for you every day and serve you. Thank you for forgiving me and making me a new person in Christ.
  In Jesus name,
  Amen
  
  After you pray with the child, affirm them and the joy you feel about this decision they have made. This is a great moment for you and your child.

• I always encourage parents to do a couple of things following this time with your child.
  • First, write the date down somewhere special. You might want to buy a new Bible to celebrate the occasion and write that information in the Bible. It will be a treasured keepsake for the child and will help in later years when doubts arise. I still have my Bible my parents bought me when I came to Christ on November 20, 1978.
  • Second, begin talking to your child about coming forward at the close of the service to make the decision public. They may be frightened but assure them you will be with them and the church will celebrate their decision. Your child may not be ready immediately but you will have the wisdom to walk with them through the process.
  • Third, have the child call someone who will affirm that decision. It may be a grandparent or a teacher or friend. Telling someone about the decision is an exciting step for the child and will hopefully begin a lifetime commitment to telling others about the change Christ has brought in their life.

Let me close with a story to encourage you. When my oldest daughter was going through the process of understanding salvation, I would take her to Starbucks to get away and have time to talk about these matters. One night, I made an incredible gospel presentation (if I might say so myself) and knew she was ready to respond. As I got to the end, I asked if she had any questions. Knowing she was about to ask, “What must I do to be saved?” I was prepared to lead her to Christ. She looked at me and said, “Dad, is there more caffeine in coffee or hot chocolate?”

Our conversations may not always go as we think they should, but remember you are dealing with the innocence of a child who is excited about what Christ has done and inquisitive about things like coffee and hot chocolate. Don’t get discouraged! But have fun on this journey of faith. God has gifted you and you will do a great job. These are very special moments for a parent and you should treasure them as such.

Resource:
When Can I? by Thomas Sanders
This book, written by a children’s minister, is a great resource for helping kids understand issues like salvation, baptism, and the Lord’s Supper. I highly recommend it to all parents.

In my next article, I will share some tips for discussing baptism and how not to confuse it with salvation.